Speaking of suburban lawns*, here is video proof that the wildlife actually controls us (rather than the other way around).

Forget the 'oohs' and 'ahs' escaping the lips of the nitwits who filmed this, as most of you already know that the sight of deer makes average suburbanites act like idiots.

But note that as the doe passes, she emits mysterious inaudible sound waves that allow her to travel backward in time and exhale invisible energy beams that cause the nearby humans to slur their words and speak much slower, verbalizing in noticably lower vocal tones. 

Eventually the video stops, because the daring souls who witnessed this event (and captured it on film for the rest of us) stopped external motion altogether and turned into living statues. Fortunately for us viewers, a neighbor thought to call the fire department, and after a good hosing down, the makers of this video recovered. They are now resting comfortably in undisclosed area hospitals.