We all have one,  in some form or fashion.   Socks or underwear,  slippers or strap-ons,   we all have a lucky something.   But any baseball fan knows,   we're ten times worse.    We don't have just one item,  instead an ever changing shift of what is and what is not lucky.   "oh yeah, the Mets ALWAYS win when I wear my beanie on the outside of my inside-out ball cap.   It's my luck charm!!"   That is until the Mets lose 6 in a row and the beanie is thrown in the garbage in the hope that it's departure will shatter 'the curse'.   It's an emotional rollercoaster ride one too many times,  but only at a ballpark do you see 40,000 people doing it at the same time.

   Anyway,  so I was sitting in church one Sunday ("I WANNA TALK TO YOU ALL ABOUT JEEEESUZZ!") and our pastor gave us some yellow post-it note in our weekly brochures.   Of course everybody was sitting there with this dumbfounded look for the first 20 minutes or so...  no explanation as to why the sticky was there...   nothing on it...  just blank and yellow...   so empty...   so naked... . Sssoo. oo...    what does Skinny do?      He decides to express himself.   He's already wearing his Cubs jersey...     I mean really?   Should there be any doubt?!

    Then,  he states "I want you all to write the name of somebody who you're going to pray for,"   to which I laughed because my post-it note was already done for...  DESTROYED!!    It was now an official Cubs logo...  any better and you'd seen a copyright letter just to the bottom right corner.     It filled out that Post-it note nicely!    Really wasn't much more I could do at that point.    So I turned it over and started filling out all the names of the players (almost forgot D. Ward),  even those I figured as potential Iowa Cubs.      Then Mr.Bray says "Now I want you all to come up here" as he points to a makeshift cross he has sitting out front "and come stick your names up on the cross."    Now,   some might cringe at the thought of that...   thinking "oh great,  now everybody's going to think I wasn't taking this thing serious and I'm just some Cubs nut"   ... which sure,  it's probably true.     But do you really think that's enough to stop a guy like me?     Nay i say!!   I actually wait, then wait some more,  to ensure the Cubs Post-it does not get lost amonst the shuffle of stickies,  until the time is right and the logo is right there for all to see...   right in the center...  just like Jesus!  (only very very blue)

   So,  I was feeling pretty good.   Just me and the thought of 'YEEESS...  the Cubs are gonna win it all for sure NOW!!"   But no...  there was a catch.    All good things have a fine print.     I was bound by commitment...   yellow Post-It's are all fine and good I guess...    but then he tells me...  no... DARES me... to  PRAY...  EVERY DAY...  for the ENTIRE month of April for (in my case) the Cubs.     "But...  but...   they don't play on Tuesday"   I remember thinking to myself,  but I guess that doesn't matter to God.    EVERYDAY!    After much self discovery in the course of 30 seconds,  I convince myself I can do this...  but...

   THEN...  he continues on and says "every bit of help you do for this person will help.   Now I'm not saying (here's the kicker) that you have to wear the same thing you're wearing today EVERY day of the month...  "   to which I, the supersticious person that I am,  threw my arms up and said, not hallelujiah,  but "OH GREAT!  He jinxed me!!   NOW I GOTTA WEAR THIS OUTFIT EVERYDAY!!"    But I figured,  a loving God wouldn't want me wearing my GOOD Cubs jersey everyday to work and strip to...   It'd get dirty.   Who's knows what will get all over it.   And I was wearing shorts. I can't wear those shorts to work.   "Certainly God doesn't want me to break the rules at work and wear shorts and perhaps get fired."    But the undershirt...  OOOhhh the undershirt.    The blue 'Static Lullably' shirt with the Wolf Scout logo...     it's like God was whispering to me:   "You'd better wear that shirt everyday or you're going to be hating life that day!"

    So I've been wearing it...   every day but 2 since April 6th.    Those 2 days I had to attend a funeral:   they lost to the Phillies.    Now, had I known that Grandpa Jim was an avid Cubs fan...   I totally would have worn that shirt.    However, with the loss of his memory over the years,   his son (and my father-in-law),  and long-time WHITE SOX fan (a.k.a. white devil) always took advantage of that and talked about the White Sox,  every time with him...  leaving me to assume he was obviously a Sox fan.     So I didn't want to wear my lucky shirt out of respect for the recently deceased (even though he was a Sox fan)   But no...  I find out DURING a Catholic funeral that Jim was a 'die hard Cubs fan',  to which I didn't find very funny...   because HE JUST DIED!   

    I actually think his own son took advantage of his memory loss to promote Sock-love.   How sad is that?!   Anyway... that's beside the point.   The point is...   everyday BUT those two:   W's      ...  well...  except the day I threw a big bonfire out in my yard at work (burn permits?   what are those) and I think the smoke-spewed aroma may have caused negative affects and a Reds trouncing...     but don't you worry Cub fans!!    I gave it a good washing and turned it inside-out yesterday to give us another win against the Pirates (any of you recall the last  time i predicted...   "sweep"?)     ... so rest assured,   I got a feeling I got this whole season under control.   

    Now, help me out here:    If they lose (which they're not right,   it's not going to happen,   right?)  any games to the Pirates...   do I keep it inside-out?    or reverse it back to normal?!    TGIS (that means Thank God It's Saturday/Sunday for all you Cubs fans from now on)...   because at least I get to wear my lucky Cubs jersey and shorts as an added lucky charm.   Also,  I wrote Murton's name bigger than Patterson's name on the back of the Post-It,   so I feel pretty damn good about this weekend's chances.

 GO CUBS!!